About immortality: ways to live on after death

ABOUT IMMORTALITY: WAYS TO LIVE ON AFTER DEATH

Bank your genes. To get the benefits of having a Junior to carry on your genes, without all the 5:00 A.M. feedings and Saturday soccer practices, you might consider making a donation at a sperm bank, where they freeze your sperm for women and couples seeking artificial insemination. You'll get immortalized DNA, no added responsibilities, plus between 35 and 50 dollars in, uh, hard cash for each effort.
Be forewarned, however, that sperm banks can be more discerning than a potential mate. "There's a meticulously involved screening process," says Charles Sims, M.D., co-founder and medical director of the Los Angeles-based California Cryobank, one of the country's largest sperm banks. "Before you can even think about donating sperm at California Cryobank, you must be between the ages of 19 and 39, enrolled in or have graduated from a four-year university, be at least five feet nine inches tall, be of appropriate weight for your height, and know your medical history for three generations back," he says. Only about 8 percent of prospective donors squeak through the sperm bank's gates.

Pass it along. It's a waste to have your prized polka banjo get snapped up by some stranger for 5 dollars at a Grandpa's-no-longer-with-us yard sale. That's what family heirlooms are all about-immortality through sentimentality. By passing a treasured item down the family line, you can be remembered fondly for generations to come.
An heirloom can be anything from your District IX track-and-field trophy to your Gibson Flying V guitar. Just be sure to put in writing what the item is and what it means to you, and then pass that along with your heirloom so that your great-great-grandson Shmecky doesn't inadvertently toss your family treasure in the circular file. Chances are that your relatives will also appreciate the heirloom that much more if they have a clear understanding of its history and significance.

Make a time capsule. One inexpensive, easy, pretty cool way to immortalize yourself is by making a time capsule, says Paul Hudson, co-founder of the International Time Capsule Society (ITCS) in Atlanta.
Consider including items like copies of birth and marriage certificates, job reviews, pictures, golf score-cards, passports, a copy of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, your favorite bowling shirt, compact discs, and anything else you think best represents your place in time.
"The best time capsule container is a safe. But you can use any container with a cool, dry, dark interior," says Hudson. "Then mark a time for it to be opened in, say, 50 or 100 years, and place it in a secure place indoors. Don't bury it outside, though. Thousands of time capsules are lost that "way."

Plant a sapling. The planet will always need trees to clean the air, give birds a home, and provide shelter from the cruel sun. So why not give the earth one in your (or someone else's) honor and have folks remember you for it? Sure, you could just stick a tree in your backyard and mount a plaque by it. They will send you a tree variety of your choice along with a personalized certificate of authenticity, which includes a space to record who planted the tree, where it was planted, and in whose memory it is dedicated. You also get a lifetime guarantee, so if the tree dies, they'll send you a replacement for only the cost of shipping and handling.

Hitch your wagon to a star. If you're famous enough to be immortalized on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, disregard this entry. If you're not, you can get a star all your own without ever having to get your hands glopped up with cement. And it'll be a real one-guaranteed to last a couple of billion years, or at least longer than you likely will.

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